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Showing posts with label Sex-Education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex-Education. Show all posts

Thursday, February 17, 2011

'Pornography is only for the voyeurs' True or false

16 going on Sex-teen

Sex Education

Exclusive Survey: Sex and the city

The average male thinks about sex every seven seconds or something. No such luck with women (insert joke about there being no such thing as an average woman); the sorority is clearly split down the middle on the subject of carnal indulgences like porn. Anna Arrowsmith is one of those who not only advocate pleasure, she nearly makes it sound politically correct. As Britain's first female porn director, she had a career as managing director of adult entertainment firm Easy on the Eye to go back to after an attempt at prospective candidacy (Liberal Democrats) in the UK elections early this year. Anna Arrowsmith aka Anna Span, who has been in the business of shooting porn films for 12 years now, speaks to Indira Parthasarathy on why there is more sex in mainstream culture than we'd like to acknowledge, and why politics and pornography are not entirely different, er, ball games.

Why is porn unsettling and cringe-inducing for many?
Justify Full
Several reasons: it's always existed outside the society, it's always been questioning our moral values. There is something fundamental about sex that as soon as you try to become politically correct, something becomes 'unsexy.' That doesn't mean you can't have loving sex in a porn film, or even have fun' People find it unsettling because we like to live in a society where we think, ever since Descartes, that the brain and the moral self are more important. But actually we live in a world which is equally about the body. And people don't like to be reminded about exceptions like porn. I think our sex drives are very important. And I'm very pleased to know historically porn has been fighting for this recognition.

'Pornography is only for the voyeurs' True or false?

I don'tPorn think porn is for voyeurs. Voyeurs is a very special term that requires somebody getting pleasure out of someone else' lack of consent. If you watched people having sex, say at a sex club, that's not voyeurism because those people are aware that you are looking at them. Voyeurists get attracted to the fact that they are secret.

Pornography is not that. It is done for the market; it is very much consensual. That's not voyeurism. It's the performance; it's not real sex either.

Do you think pornography serves to remedy queasiness about nudity and sex? Is nudity over-rated?

All I can say is that I find it very liberating to be able to be in a room with nude people and hardly notice it because I am so used to seeing people like that. We are all so different, and that is half the fun, so it is a shame that people feel so inhibited about appearing nude. Pornography has certainly helped me to be relaxed about nudity and also to learn about my own sexual psyche.

One thing people complain to porn directors is that porn depicts unrealistic performance of sex. Well, you wouldn't say that to any mainstream filmmaker, say one who makes funny films far funnier than real life. You don't expect them to show life 'is occasionally' funny because that wouldn't be very interesting. Porn is about sexual experience as a performance and is meant to be exaggerated, and meant to be more interesting to look at than real life sex.

How is porn 'for women' different from porn 'for men'?

I used to say I made 'porn for women' but I find a lot of men like my stuff as well and now I say I make porn from a female perspective. What I do is, I make all the models make eye contact with each other. I include good looking men. The way the people interact with each other is important, to show they are a three dimensional character and not voiceless mannequins, like a lot of porn films depict women. There is realistic casting, so if a woman is playing a business millionaire, she'll be 40-odd, not 20. I try to show realistic stories and clothes and sex. In "The Hand of the Law," I used the same company to source the police costumes that supplies the TV programme, The Bill, for instance. It's about sexing things up with reality.

The acts are different too. For instance, I lay more emphasis on foreplay for women. I have the people talk to each other ' it's the little details that will make all the difference for women. There's no act I wouldn't do that I found sexy. I don't mind group sex at all. It's about how it's shot, whether the woman is seen to be making the decision for herself. Even if she plays the role of someone who's submissive (as some people are in sex), it's the way it's filmed that's important, whether you can see that person is enjoying it or not.

Some indict pornography as being exploitative of women. How would you reply?

I think there's too much sex on MTV, there's too much sex in adverts. Women are lot less exploited in pornography than in mainstream culture.

Women are constantly being sent these messages that you've to look a certain way ' Paris Hilton, or those in the magazines etc. Young girls see these magazines way before they see any pornography. Porn, for that matter, is very rare, and very much on the sidelines. Unless you go looking for porn on the Internet, you'll see porn less than 1% of your lifetime.

Young people watching MTV are still learning the same old messages that the way the women access power is by taking their clothes off and playing the sex card. Bad magazines and bad television programmes damage young men and women more as they are ubiquitous. Contrary to anti-porn feminism, both men and women learn their sex roles long before experiencing pornography and banning porn is not the panacea to women's problems they think it is.

The porn industry is, in fact, very democratic about the human body. There is a market for anything. I always say to women, if there's any part of your body you don't like, just put it on google, and add '+ sex'. Do you consider yourself to be hairy? Fat? Old? You'll find a site dedicated to your kind of figure or trait, suggesting that is the most attractive thing about you. You cannot say that for any other industry. We're also far more interested in a woman's performance (as well as her looks, admittedly) than other industries.

Which side of the debate are you on making prostitution legal?

I would pornographymake prostitution legal, definitely, just to keep it safe. I think women should be kept away from the bad pimps, and this is the way to do it. The other thing is, people complain it's very base for somebody to sell their body, but we sell our bodies all the time, but worse than that, we sell our minds all the time. When I was a student, I can't tell how many part time jobs I did where I was told 'we don't want you to think, we just want you to do this'. As a hooker, you can have more control of your work (as long as you are not addicted to drugs, admittedly.) You could be a good prostitute or a bad one, and that's only your decision, and how much effort you put into it. On the other hand, a lot of jobs you do, there's no incentive to try at all and people live a 'prostituted' life all the time. People are working their bodies away, and damaging their bodies all the time for work, so I don't see why sexual work should be singled out'.

The state would have to play a role in advocating the rights of prostitutes and to encourage a clear route for prostitutes to access grievance redress processes. You couldn't just be na've to think 'oh it will be nice and organised'.

Please elaborate on 'pro-sex feminism'. In what ways does pornography reflect women's rights?

I used to be anti-pornography. However, when I was 16, walking down the red light district of London, I realised that my anger was actually jealousy because men had their sexuality catered for in various ways ' magazines, prostitutes, strippers. Conversely, women had absolutely nothing. I switched sides ' from anti-porn to pro-porn ' in an instant, and I realised it's much more important for women to promote female sexuality. I realised years later that what I was saying was actually along the lines of Nietzsche, the philosopher. He talked about the master-slave morality, and the master (usually is the man) predicts his own life choices according to pleasures alone, and the slave's role is to say 'I am not like the master following his own pleasures, and therefore am a better person'. The trouble with the slave's position is that it necessarily requires the master, in order that the slave has an identity.

I moved from complaining about men ' in the slave position ' to the master position, exploring my own sexuality, my own pleasures. I think we need women far more pro-active in the sex industry, and outside representatives of sex industry, to show how women see their own sexuality. Pornography plays its part in helping that to happen. If more women were producing porn then it will cease to be this misogynistic thing that it is. The porn industry will go where the money is. If women will start buying in more numbers, then porn will change for the better I believe.

Have you noticed anything common between pornography and politics?

Well, my drive to do porn has always been political, really. I'm carrying on in politics; I intend to stand again in five years time. I certainly see my future in the development of women's rights, but I have a lot of other political ideas too such as the right for young people to have free after school clubs provided for them. This will keep kids off the streets and out of crime, stop them from becoming bored. I am fairly anti-establishment; why should the state tell us how to live? I'm a liberal in that sense; that's where I'm coming from.


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Monday, December 27, 2010

SEX AND THE CITY-2: Vexed in the city

16 going on Sex-teen

Exclusive Survey: Sex and the city

Sex Education

Lacks the zest and verve of the tv series; also, a plot
The ladies are back, bolder than ever! Wait, make that older than ever. Because the unnecessary sequel to the originally unnecessary movie to a highly successful TV series is pretty jaded, never mind the dazzling outfits and the change of locale from New York to Abu Dhabi. Actually the change of location is the most annoying factor in the movie because as a fan of the TV show I thought there was still juice left to squeeze in the Big Apple. The New York set up is what gave 'Sex And The City' its panache but this time around the all expenses paid trip to Abu Dhabi that Samantha (Kim Cattrall) works out for the foursome is taken at the expense of the loyal viewers of the show.

Sure, you might want to discuss some outfits and some plot points after the movie, but while the former will give you some talking points, the latter is pretty much non-existent. It is a mash up of some of the sentiments we have seen aplenty on the show and the rest are cliched and familiar instances of troubles with bringing up kids (Charlotte and her young daughter), the adjustments you make in married life (Mr Big and Carrie) and handling a boss who's incapable of handling a subordinate who's more intelligent (Miranda).

The brands are there in droves and the movie seems to have sold its soul to commercialism. And seriously, no matter how big a fan you were of the show, let me assure you that there's no way you'll be able to handle four women bitching about their problems for two and a half hours! Forget about freshness, actor's expressions or even the emotions; the only things that change are the clothes.

An Initiative of IIPM, Malay Chaudhuri and Arindam chaudhuri (Renowned Management Guru and Economist).

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Friday, October 15, 2010

Exclusive Survey: Sex and the city

16 going on Sex-teen

Sex Education


EXCLUSIVE SURVEY - AND STORIES WHICH BRING OUT A NEW INDIA’S INDULGENCE IN THE WORLD’S FAVOURITE SPORT


We, the people of India, have never shied away from the act of sex. We have our population statistics to vouch for it. But when it has come to discussing bedroom troubles with pals, taking expert advice in solving gratification problems or understanding the hormonal changes in our teenage sons and daughters, we have been found seriously wanting. Religious morality, laws drawn up in the Victorian Age, a quasi-feudal system, lack of education and exposure have all played their respective parts in restricting us. Of late, specially in our metros and some other cities, we have been perceiving a change where the morality of the religion is being slowly replaced by a sense based on concern for human rights and individual choices, restrictions are giving way to choices. There are miles to go and there always will be. Many states in the US are still debating whether to legalise abortion. Of course, there are consequences: some positive, some adverse. But there is no point denying it. Without any more foreplay, let's get into the act. Please turn over the page.

The survey has been conducted using a structured questionnaire amongst a randomly selected sample of 1,244 respondents. The survey has been conducted in the five metros of Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, Kolkata and Chennai in the age group of 18-35 years. The answers are collected from respondents belonging to SEC A1, A2 and B1 segments wherein 1,124 are men and 120 are women. Most women refrained from taking the survey and hence the fairer sex's sample size covered under the purview of the survey is only about 10 per cent. Out of the total samples, 821 men are married & are living with their spouses and 303 are bachelors. Women surveyed are mostly unmarried. Forty seven female respondents are married and are living with their spouses.


Have you ever had sex?

This is the best start for the survey. All 1,244 respondents have had sex. We did not come across a single celibate in a country of renunciation.

With whom did you have your first sexual experience?

Chastity and virginity are prized possessions no more. Finding out whether a couple is sexually compatible seems to be the in thing.


What is the maximum number of times you've had sex in a day?
If anyone says Indians are sexually inactive, just rattle off the following figures to shut him/her up.


At what age did you first have sex?


Teens and young adults are definitely experimenting with their lives, in tune with figures reflected in global surveys.



How many partners have you had in the last 1 year?


The bulwark of monogamy is still managing to hold out but the figures show that polygamy is on the rise.


Do you currently have a steady sexual partner?


Just like with their savings habit, Indians prefer to have things steady in their bedroom too. But a substantial number of people don't mind rocking the boat.



Have you ever experimented with role-playing and/ or sex toys?

Indians are definitely not the kinkiest of the lot but the lack of availability of sex toys in the domestic market seems to have been a spoilsport for the 23 per cent.

How was your first experience like?

Indians are no more sexually ignorant. The high percentage of 'Excellent' markers and the fact that they remember the occasion are pointers enough.







What do you think about pre-marital sex?


The moral police is completely out of sync with today's young India. An overwhelming majority don't consider this as a taboo any more.




Do you believe sex gives equal pleasure to both men and women?

Sex is no more for the pleasure of the men alone. Well, was it ever? India is frequently ridiculed abroad as a land where women never have orgasms. Hope this leads to a change of that perception.


Have you ever used an escort/massage parlour service for paid sex?

Visiting the red light area is passe. More than a-fifth of the respondents have had paid sex at the upmarket massage parlours or have ordered for home or hotel delivery.


Have you ever visited a red light area?

No matter how sexually liberated we become, visiting a red light area still means a lowly act and there is the fear of contracting diseases. May be, legalisation of the trade will lead to different findings.


Have you ever paid for sex?

We always knew the Indian aversion to pay for water. The same logic goes here. Why pay for something that comes for free? Not that a few don't differ, just like mineral water drinkers.


Is cyber café a better place to have sex?

Cyber cafe and sex? Yes, in India's Tier-II & III cities, this is the best haunt for adult fun and escapades. And it seems more than one-fourth of India's metro dwellers agree wholeheartedly.


Escapades in the park are no longer possible

Blame it on the moral police or those in uniform, the slight of the open umbrella on a park bench has lost its fatal attraction.


Most often you turn to sex for

We are amazed to find that people have managed to create watertight categories with little chance of osmosis or diffusion.







Have you ever encountered/ indulged in office sex?


Now, this takes guts and, as some say, lack of private spaces. An overwhelming majority seems to find it uncomfortable and risky. But the five per cent, one has to agree, are those men and women who will beat the others hands down in a libido count. May be, sex fraught with danger increases the pleasure factor.


Have you ever gone out specifically for a sex holiday?


Honeymoons are perfect example but the term sex holiday has an alternative feel. The good part of this holiday is that you don't need to spend on exotic destinations as you are not likely to leave your air-conditioned room.




How do you rejuvenate your sex life?


You don't usually associate boredom with this act but there is a need to spice it up once in a while. This is one matter on which every respondent unanimously feels that there is a need to rejuvenate his/her sex life. Used to the daily grind in the office, this is somewhere you can probably get a bit creative as well.




Do you believe that sex also takes place at the workplace?

Honestly speaking, there is nothing to believe or disbelieve. This is not a matter of faith. It happens for sure. You either know it or you don't. But it seems that a few people are not even interested.


Given a choice where would you like to have sex?

Here the placid Indian makes himself/herself heard again. The 'car'walas seem to be inspired by Hollywood. Office work can get you fired and workout in the park may land you in jail. But the elements of risk and danger can surely be more exciting.


Do you expect the woman/man you marry to be a virgin?


Indians are practical people. So they don't expect a miracle. Young people in the cities also place compatibility higher than chastity and virginity on a priority list when it comes to choosing partners.


If you live separately, do you enjoy your sex life more?

A majority thinks sex is a matter between two individuals and having your mom and dad in the next room makes you tone your voice down. Those who live in three-storey mansions don't agree but they are a lucky minority.


Do you use any kind of protection for safe sex?

The fear of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases has led to greater use of condoms. Emergency contraceptive pills and other means lag far behind.






Have you ever had unprotected sex and woken up worried?

It's obvious most Indians plan in advance. After all, giving into momentary lapses of reason is not really our cup of tea. A few people have burnt their hands once but then, some don't seem to have learnt anything at all.


Would you forgive your partner if he/she cheated on you?

Now, this is sensitive territory. A sexual revolution may be sweeping India but only a handful are sure about forgiving their partner. All religions talk about forgiving sinners. Can we take a cue from this?


Do you think live-in relationships lead to a better sex life?

Today's youths definitely like no-strings-attached relationships. But then, is live-in that much different from marriage in case you don't live in a joint family?




Are you satisfied with your sex life?


In spite of all talks about conservatism, taboos and social backwardness, in the end what matters most? And it seems that we are faring pretty well.





What are your views on gay sex?

Now, who would have guessed that a country where gay sex is punishable by law would have thrown up the following results? But with prominent citizens coming out of the closet and the political and judicial class reviewing age-old codes and laws based on Victorian morality, the LGBT cause has got a new lease of life.




Do you think sex education should be given to children?


No child is immune to sex education, no matter whether she learns it at school or not. The point is to choose between teaching and self-discovery. Both have positives but the latter is a riskier proposition.


How important is sex in your life?

Sigmund Freud saw sex drive or libido as the single most important driving force of all human endeavours. It seems people largely agree with him.



For more articles, Click on IIPM Article.

Source : IIPM Editorial, 2010.

An Initiative of IIPM, Malay Chaudhuri and Arindam chaudhuri (Renowned Management Guru and Economist).

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